Try Taking a Vacation

Summers can be the best time of year. Picnics in the park. The smell of freshly mown grass. Brilliant colored flowers replete with lush green vegetation. Giant trees with limbs so massive there's enough shade for the whole family reunion. . . .

I live in the deepest heart of the desert. No picnics here—you have to wait until cooler weather. No smell of freshly mown grass. Hardly anyone has grass---it's too hot and difficult to keep grass alive. Thankfully, we hardly have mosquitoes. Even they know it's too hot here. Yes, living in the desert does not bring the same smiles June through August that it does most places.

However, no matter where a person lives, you can still enjoy a vacation without even leaving the comfort of your own air conditioner.

Try taking a two week vacation from being negative. For many people, two weeks is a long time. They might shrivel into a tiny speck of dehydration if they aren't allowed to be negative for 14 whole days! Of course, those are also the people who probably feel they are never negative. They simply, "state the truth."

Give yourself a little test. (I know. We all hate tests.) See if you can go one whole day without saying something negative. If that doesn't work, try one hour or a half hour.

Call it "A Vacation from Being Negative." I think you'll find yourself more refreshed than after any other vacation you've ever taken.

How Many Times Have You Been Guilty?

Imagine someone is speaking to you in a conversation. . . .

• Do you stop what you are doing and give the person your undivided attention?
• Are you thinking about your response while the person is still talking?
• Do you interject your views when the other person is speaking (interrupt)?
• Do you fill in sentences because you assume you know what is going to be said?
• Are you fidgeting, wiggling, and opening your mouth to signal you want to speak?
• Do you change the subject at first chance to something you're more interested in talking about?
  

If you are completely innocent and never do these things, that's perfect!

Unfortunately, the rest of us can be found guilty some of the time.

Keep your mug shot out of conversations.

Paying for Answered Prayers?

What if you could pay an amount easily affordable to have your prayers answered? Of course, it's a heretical thought because the price has already been paid. Yet, imagine you made a list of prayers and were able to drop some coins, chickens, shocks of grain, whatever is easy for you into a box and "poof" your prayers are answered exactly the way you want them to be.

Let's see. I'm checking my piggy bank now. I want to get that high paying speaking job I've been thinking about and the writing deal I'm working on. I want to lose "X" pounds in three months (I'm not telling how many pounds). I want to start exercising two hours each day even though I'm not exercising at all now.Oh, and I want to buy that motor home we've looked at, plus I want our new neighbors that just moved in to be really nice and likable. Yes, those things would be best. How many dimes, quarters, and dollar bills will those prayers cost?

I'm thankful prayer doesn't work this way. For one thing, no matter how intelligent we are, we're not smart enough to know everything that's best for us. God is the only one who knows what lies ahead. He sees the potholes, crevices, hills, chasms, storms, and sunshine.

While we attempt to learn better listening skills to those around us, we also need to unplug our ears so that we can listen to guidance that may or may not fall within our own wants and desires. Put your money away. It's useless.

Is Rudeness Ever Necessary?

I've always been curious about the case of Dr. Terry Bennett. He's the doctor accused and sued by some of his patients as being too rude in what he says to them. Dr. Bennett denies some of the claims. There's no way the public is going to know if, or how many of, the complaints are legitimate. However, let's face it. Some people are just plain rude and do not consider how their words affect the listener.

From The Associated Press article on MSNBC, July 7, 2006 called No wrist-slap for name-calling rude doctor:

Judge Edward Fitzgerald made clear in a ruling
released Thursday that he did not condone remarks attributed to Dr. Terry
Bennett and found them unnecessary, but ruled Bennett had a right to speak
bluntly.“It is nonetheless important ... to ensure that physicians and patients
are free to discuss matters relating to health without fear of government
reprisal, even if such discussions may sometimes be harsh, rude or offensive to
the listener,” he concluded in the ruling Wednesday.

In our own interactions with friends, family, co-workers---everyone, I think there is a difference between being rude and being blunt, but the line between the two can be very wavy.

• Do you feel you've been blunt with someone yet weren't being rude?
• When do you think it's advisable to be rude or blunt?
• How can you protect a person's feelings while being blunt?

I'm eager to hear what others think about this.

All comments are moderated, but I'll pick out several to post. Check back in a couple of days to hear what others have to say. If you would like to provide a link to your site, let me know and I'll include that.

Ears Are Not Just for Hearing

Yes, I always wear some sort of earring, but that's not what I'm talking about.

What's the opposite of talking? Listening. "Yeah, I hear you." No! Hearing and listening aren't the same. Hearing is a physiological process that happens because of the way God created ears. We can "tune-out" sounds. Sometimes when I'm home alone and in the midst of house cleaning or doing laundry, my husband comes home, walks into the room where I am and says, "Hi, Honey, I'm home." I scream bloody murder---or at least let out a little yelp. I love my husband; he's a great guy! The trouble is, I'm lost in my thoughts and absorbed in some world of my imagination. I'm usually mentally putting together something I'm going to write. Why did I not hear him? I'm not listening for anything else because I'm too engrossed in my own thoughts.

Listening requires more than sound waves vibrating in the ears. It requires focus. According to More Than Talking: Analysis and Activities in Group Communication by Diana Prentice and James Payne, "Listening requires a person to concentrate on, think about, and react to what is heard."

Let's visualize something. Since there are many facts we don't know about the dinosaur period, let's create a *pretend situation of a couple of cave men out hunting food for their families. Do you think these cave men are casually plundering through the terrain or are they intently listening for any Tyrannosaurus, largest land carnivores of all time so they won't be the dinosaurs' next meal?

People want acceptance and the best way for others to feel accepted is by listening to them. If you can't take time to listen to someone, tell them. When you pretend to listen, the person knows it. To listen to someone doesn't mean you have to stop everything you are doing. Listening means responding to what someone says, asking questions or clarification if appropriate, facial recognition that you are listening, eye contact part of the time, and body language that shows you are listening. It also means trying to remember what someone talks to you about and maybe asking the person about it at a later time.

Someone told me once the best compliment is to be a good listener. There's a reason that "be swift to hear and slow to speak" is so important.

*This is only for imaginary purposes and not meant to represent anything realistic.

What Comes from the Heart Makes the Person

Clothes aren't the only things that tell a lot about us. Words come from our hearts to leave us beautifully adorned or pitifully 'without.' Mark Twain once said, "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." Be a positive influence. Wear the right words.

Talking Yourself into Being Tired

Do you always talk about what you are

• wanting to do
• going to do
• about to do
• planning to do
• studying to do?

People often talk about the same goals over and over, yet nothing gets done about them. It's all talk. Future tense. Immense energy is spent without accomplishing anything.

Instead of making lists, plans, or talking, start accomplishing those goals! You'll feel more energized and less tired. If you can do something for 20 minutes a day, 6 days a week (you can have one day of rest), at the end of one year, you'll have targeted 104 hours on your goal. A lot of great things can be done in 104 hours of focused attention. Quit talking about what you are going to do and start doing! You might not even want to take a nap.