The Harder You Try, the More You'll Fail

No, that's not a negative outlook on life. In fact, I had a short piece in one of the *Chicken Soup books about this very idea. If people don't fail, then they aren't trying to learn new things, advance in what they already know, or overcome negative behaviors. I'm not talking about people who say every day "this is the day I'm going to start . . ." whatever it is and repeat that same statement every morning. Those people are only fooling themselves when they do that. I'm talking about trying hard enough that you may advance part of one step, fall back two, advance a half step, advance a giant step, then fall back two or three. If you are really trying, you are going to make progress and succeed or get very near your goal eventually.

If everything a person does is a success, that person doesn't have very high goals.

For those that read my blog from July 31, you'll know it was about taking a vacation from being negative. I was the queen of success this week---at least, that's the crown I gave myself on Wednesday. I started my "vacation" on Sunday at noon and only had one super, tiny slip of negativism all the way to Wednesday night. It was easy. I wondered why everyone couldn't do it as easily as I was. I had it made---never another negative statement was going to leave my lips or rattle around and propagate in my head ever again.

It had been a great week. Then, Wednesday evening my husband came home from work and happened to tease me about something that always gets a reaction from me. I glared at him and told him exactly what I thought about his comment, then went on for about 30 minutes about several other negative things that I usually complain about. Ding. It's as if a half hour alarm went off in my brain that signaled what I'd been doing for the past 30 minutes. I'd completely forgotten about my "vacation." I failed. I'd become negative again.

I was disappointed in myself. I was frustrated that I'd succumbed so easily to taking the easy road of finding fault and not using energy to focus on the positive.

Nevertheless, I wasn't a failure. I had really tried and was elated that I'd gone slightly over 3 whole days without being negative. I think that's the longest I've ever gone before.

Yet, one thing I always tell myself. I don't have to wait until the first day of the month to try again or next Monday or tomorrow. If I want to follow a time frame, then I'll look at my clock and as soon it hits the beginning of the next hour, I write that time down and begin all over again. I'm back on vacation again.

You know what happened to us this week? Our clothes dryer went kaput and had to be replaced; our refrigerator started producing frost in a frostless environment; and tonight our dishwasher motor burned out, started smoldering, and could have easily burned the whole house down. Every other night this week we've been gone (and we often leave our dishwasher running) but tonight, we "just happened" to be here. Yes, we got through everything this week. I'm on vacation. I packed and prepared better this time and hope to stay on vacation at least 4 maybe 5 days.

*Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul: Daily Inspirations Pub. Date: December 2005